Escaping 'Normal' to Find...Something Else

How I built a wildly imaginative life of exploration, discovery, & creativity.

Hello internet,

My name is Erin. I began full-time adventuring in 2020, encountering more mind-bending beauty and fascinating people than I thought possible.

But, as wonderful as these past few years have been, I’m going to rewind and start from the beginning. This is the story of how I left the rat race and found a slower, wilder way of being that's more aligned with my mind, body, & soul.

I want to quickly point out that my outlook on life is not everyone's truth. Some people love a secure, predictable life with no surprises, and that's great! But if you’re somebody who feels stuck in the “grind” of standard everyday life, dreaming of change and wondering how the hell you might do it, this piece is for you.

1. The Mindset Shift

It all started back home in Maryland. I graduated college and immediately started working full-time in an office for a small advertising agency. I liked the company and it was seemingly the perfect gig right out of school. And yet, something felt amiss.

It was the classic 40-hour work week, climb-the-ladder lifestyle that I was told would eventually lead to “success.” But it didn’t feel good in my body. I felt drained of life force and had no time to do the things that made me feel alive.

When I did have free time, I drank and did drugs to "have fun" and escape from feelings of dissatisfaction & helplessness. I was burnt-out, numbed-out, depressed, and a dimmer expression of myself.

The realization that I wasn’t aligned & the acceptance that I needed a change was the first turning point, even though I had no idea what to do about it.

Nonetheless, I started to think more creatively about my options rather than feeling stuck. I shifted my mindset from “accept what I’ve been told life is” to the active “This isn't right. I want to create a better reality for myself.”

So, I began planning my escape.

2. Creative Planning

After some thought, I decided my escape would be to hike the entire Appalachian Trail the following year. I threw myself into the plans, hungering for the challenge and lifestyle change it would bring.

Then, the first plot twist:

My work went fully remote due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

This cut out my commute and some other factors contributing to my burnout, and I had more time to focus on my health & passions. Yet still, I was consumed by the idea of greater change, of carving my own path and shifting my entire way of being in the world.

I wanted to be interested in my everyday life, not bored. I wanted to explore the world and have a life of adventure, wonder, curiosity, and passion...But how do people escape this system of burnout ("the system") and create something different & exciting? Where do they even start?

It turns out this type of thinking and creative planning, as unfruitful as it may feel at first, is actually the first step to changing your circumstances. With a little patience, the mechanism of life will rearrange with these thoughts, albeit very unexpectedly, and it can be surprising how fast it does

3. Trusting the Unknown

Okay so - I'm struggling, working full-time, and still planning my escape when suddenly, a second plot twist:

My older sister got a job offer in Colorado and needed a roommate (me).

Honestly, it took a few days for me to decide. Starting over from scratch in a place I’d never been before seemed extremely scary & ridiculous, in one sense. But in another, it felt like the big change I’d been waiting for.

Eventually, I decided to jump into the unknown and leave behind the security & familiarity that I was always taught to cling to, which was probably the most difficult part.

I put my thru-hike plans on hold, packed my little car with everything I owned, and set out west. I left behind everything - all my friends, family, a two-year relationship, and my old life paradigm.

4. The Breakdown & Escape

I spent two weeks touring the states on my way to Colorado. It was so eye-opening! How had I not known our country had such vast, varying landscapes? How had I never been to the desert before?

It was exciting being on the road like that; beautiful nature, constant inspiration, and living the bare minimum. I felt fully alive, present, and interested in every day. I admit I was a little sad when I finally arrived in Colorado, time to move into an apartment and get back to the grind.

Then, the biggest plot twist:

The morning my sister and I were going to move into our new apartment, the landlord never showed. We spoke with some authorities and discovered we were part of a housing scam.

At the time, it felt like one of the biggest letdowns I’d ever experienced. I was ashamed I fell victim to a scam and every fear imaginable surfaced. Will we find an affordable living situation? Will I have to go back east? Was all of this heartache of letting go for nothing??

I felt defeated, drifting untethered into the void of uncertainty.

After a term used by Charles Eisenstein, I would call this a breakdown period: when the ground seems to fall away from under your feet and you have to rethink everything, feeling your way through the dark.

Life as I knew it began changing form, and I had no idea what would happen next. The mechanism of my life became almost completely unrecognizable and, damn, was it scary.

I could’ve given into fear & gone back to the safety and security of what was familiar, a lifestyle of burnout & mediocrity. But, I didn't. * (see footnote)

5. Be Courageous & Trust Your Intuition

So what happened? I made the decision NOT to fall into despair, but rather to be brave and see this as an opportunity.

My car was already packed with all of my belongings and camping gear, and it occurred to me: I could just keep going and finally fulfill my dream of living on the road!

I didn’t have much money or a solid plan, but I had the curiosity and determination to make it happen. So, I kept going, living out of my car & tent, with no idea what the hell I was doing.

That was the beginning of my ‘day-by-day’ existence, because what I did and where I went quite literally depended upon what unfolded each hour. Life became guided by synchronicities & signs, the kindness of others, and the compass of my intuition.

It felt like I fell down a rabbit hole into a mind-boggling wonderland of characters, landscapes, and experiences that I couldn't have even fathomed before I took the jump.

6. Discovering a New Way of Being

I could go into detail about all the uncanny synchronicities & decisions I made during that time that led me to where I am today.

But the bottom line is this: by mustering up all my courage, trusting the process, and putting myself out there, I exited the world of hyper-productivity, oppression, consumerism, etc., and discovered the way of ease, wildness, & true freedom that exists on the fringes of society.

By rejecting the pressures of social conformity and deciding for myself what I wanted my life to be, I found a deeper sense of purpose & well-being.

I found other free-thinkers, authentic connection, healing in nature, and a surge in my life force.

I found more fulfilling ways to be in service & make money.

My connection to the divine has strengthened and I love waking up to my life every day. It truly feels like all my senses awakened and I have the space to be my fullest expression.

Write Your Own Story

Your story will look different. Your desires, breakdown(s), resources, and other details will be different. But at the core of things, there is a common quest.

It begins with shifting your mindset, making mindful choices, and having the courage to align with the call of your soul. The rest will fall into place.

Question everything. Get out of your comfort zone. Keep letting go of what doesn't serve you to make room for what does. The Universe provides. And the unraveling of life will, no doubt, continue. Let it be on your own terms.

With love,

Erin

* I came across a video a while back that I think informed my behavior during my own life’s breakdown. It’s called ‘Exiting the Matrix’ by Charles Eisenstein. Here’s an excerpt:

“...When you’re in this space between stories, when you’re in this time of breakdown, then you’re going to end up erecting some version of what you already had before and you won’t be even that excited about it and you won’t be able to achieve it anyway. It’ll seem phony. So I’d like to encourage you to abide in that space of unknowing for a while until a new story comes to you that really resonates with who you want to become, that isn’t preying on your fear, but that is inviting you into service to something that’s really beautiful to you. And I’m not even saying you’ll recognize it right away. Probably you’ll have to have a few false starts.”

Thanks for reading!